Very strange customs.

Now it is time for the story of one of my student peers in one of my classes, and how he managed to alienate a couple of us in the class with his actions.

Class starts at 11 every Tuesday and Thursday.  Our professor does not delay the beginning of class at all, and starts promptly at the clocks stroke of 11, regardless of people being present or not, as most all professors do.  This guy, we'll call him Bale, always comes in late.  I mean, he is consistently about 10 minutes late.  Sometimes he's got coffee, once he was even in the middle of a phone call.  He holds no regard for the rest of us, and doesn't try to be quiet about showing up late.  This particular day, he showed up late, plopped his backpack down on the table, unzips it, pulls out his notebook, unceremoniously drops his bag on the ground, then plops himself into his chair.

As if that wasn't bad enough, he apparently did more that I was unaware of, until a fellow classmate stayed after to complain to the teacher about him.

"Excuse me, sir? Yeah, I just wanted to say that this (points at Bale) guy here is an asshole.  He came in late, making all sorts of noise and stuff-"

"As I am very aware of," says the professor.

"- and proceeds to sit down and fart, then turn around and hock a loogie on the floor next to him."

"Wait, what?" says the professor in disgust, "This true Bale? Did you really hock a loogie on the floor?

Bale gives a quizzical look to the professor and says " I didn't know people would be offended by th-"

"Didn't know people would be offended? It's disgusting," says the professor, "where would that ever be acceptable?"

"It doesn't even matter, it's just water, it'll evaporate, big whoop-"

"Just water? If you seriously believe that your saliva is just water, you are more of an idiot than I believed."

Bale just sat there, stupefied  as the professor continued to pack up his stuff and leave the classroom.  I left as soon as I could, leaving just Bale in the classroom, as the other student had left with the professor to discuss class matters.  Since then, he still shows up late, but now he sits in the back row every day, and tries to be a little more quiet.

Next time... I don't remember. Whatever it was my last post mentioned as the third story I have to tell.  That'll be next.

Would you happen to have...

Hello all.

Or none, as the case may be (and most likely is).

Work has been long and silly, school has been long and boring, hanging with friends has been long and awesome, and sleeping has taken a backseat to it all.  So it's always a joy to get the occasional insane customer, or the crazy student who can't believe we don't accept his "customs", or the awesome successfully aced test.  How about we start at the top, yeah?  Yeah.

So. Insane customers.  Wonderful.  This lady wasn't as insane as much as she had just planned everything ahead of time -- like, way ahead of time.

Three weeks ago, she called, ordered a large pie with half pepperoni, half mushrooms, and another medium pie, with olives and green peppers.  She asked for a 20oz Coke, and for it to all be delivery.  Then, after she'd completed the order, and I'd sent it over to our makeline (where it gets assembled), she asks if she can add something.  A bit annoying to implement after the fact, but we can do it.

"No problem ma'am, what would you like?"

"Would y'all happen to have anchovies?"

"Like the fish? No ma'am. Sorry."

"Oh that's fine.  Thanks!"

And that was that.  The next weekend, she calls again, on the same day, at about the same time, with the same order: large pie, half pepperoni, half mushroom, medium pie, olives and green peppers, and a 20oz Coke.  Order in, sent through to cooks, and again, she asks if she can add something.  Trying to head her off, I ask if it's the anchovies.

"Like the fish? No, yuck. I am curious about broccoli.  Do you guys have broccoli?"

"Uh... No ma'am.  I'm sorry about that."

"Oh no, that's okay, just curious. Thanks!"

Again, it was over.  Next weekend, same caller, same day, same time, same order.  Something about it feels a little strange, mostly that they manage to get me on the other end of the phone a third time in a row.  Whatever, crazy coincidence.  Anyway, this time I wait, just to see if she wanted anything else, as per the past two orders.  I ask to clarify she's done, she insists that's all. I send the order through, then she chimes in.

"Do you guys have carrots?"

"No ma'am, but I can offer you tomatoes. We have tomato pieces."

"Tomato pieces? That's hilarious. Thanks anyway."

A third time, come and gone.  I ponder these zany inquiries all week thinking I've found a pattern to it all.  I eagerly await Saturday, to call her out on her shenanigans.  She calls, on schedule, orders her usual, and assures me that's it.  Then, she starts in again.

"Actually, would you happen to have -"

"DILL PICKLES?"

"- no, I was going to ask if you had -- uh-- well, yeah, dill pickles."

"Not many foods that start with the letter d, are there?"

"No sir. Thanks again."

And that was it.  Will she call again this Saturday? Who knows. I certainly hope so.  I'd love to hear her crazy scheme of a riddle once again.  Anyway, tune in next time (who knows when) to hear about the student with the ridiculous views on acceptable behaviors.